Organizing & Marriage

​Organizing & Marriage
 
I have been Organizing professionally for 19 years. There have been several times in my career when a husband or wife has approached me and dragged me to a private place to discuss their spouses clutter. When they find out I’m a Professional Organizer they want my advice on how to get their spouse to be more organized. It may seem trivial to some people but it really is a huge issue for many couples. One person I know Professionally shared his situation with me about his then wife and how disorganized she was and how much clutter they had in their home. One year later they were divorced.
 
It is very difficult for someone who is very organized to live with someone who is very disorganized. Desperate people have contacted Simple Solution Organizing begging us to help them get rid of their spouse’s clutter while they are away on a trip. We have to respectfully decline. That is not ethical. They have to be a part of the process unless they have given permission to their spouse.
 
Is your spouse chronically disorganized? They may not be able to change. I think it is important to discuss with your spouse, or significant other, how the clutter resonates with you. They may brush it off as a non-issue. Hopefully, if they know how important this is for you, they will try to improve the situation.
 
Here are a few things you can suggest and try:

• Let your spouse think it is their idea to get organized. Gently remind them of a time when the clutter caused them pain. You want to HELP him or her alleviate some of this pain. / Example they could not locate their keys, a document, or a tool for an hour or more. You offer to help them create a permanent home for this item and others.
• Is your spouse open to hiring a Professional Organizer? If you keep having arguments about clutter and not being organized then it’s time to bring in a Professional. Professional Organizers are a neutral party. We can suggest and implement systems that you both can try. Also, a professional will have ideas that you may not think of yourself.
• There are Associations, Apps, Books, Blogs, Magazines, Seminars and Life Movements to motivate people to get organized. Here is a sampling of a few things you can recommend.
  • National Association of Productivity & Organizing Professionals
  • Becoming minimalist
  • 10 Apps to help you get more organized
  • Spark Joy by Marie Kondo
• You can ask your spouse if items of clothing and other items spark joy. If they don’t get rid of them. You can’t ask this of all items! It is necessary to have cat litter if you have an indoor cat. Cat litter does not spark joy for me but I have to have it. Another example is a broom, cleaning supplies and certain papers. I love the premise of spark joy but you also have to be realistic.
• Is your Spouse a Hoarder? There are Therapists that specialize in Hoarding. Here is a Clutter Hoarding Scale. Many people jokingly say, I’m a Hoarder or my spouse is a Hoarder. Check out the scale to see if that is really the case.

 
There is no magic wand that will mysteriously eliminate the clutter. It takes effort and maintenance. I tell my client’s that once the organizing project is complete it can revert back in a matter of weeks or months. There is no quick fix or one and done when it comes to organizing. Getting organized is worth your time and effort.
 
Organizing…Love & Marriage
 
Adele Tusson-Gross
Chief Executive Organizer
Simple Solution Organizing LLC