This is a photo of my husband, Karl, and I. We are not delegating in this photo...just having fun.
September / October 2023
Are you doing the majority of housework? Sometimes we don’t even realize how much we do. I listened to a very interesting show about the distribution of Chores titled “Stuck Doing All the Household Chores.”on LifeKit. They instruct people to write down all the chores that they do. Figure out if they are all necessary for instance making the bed is one that could be removed if both people agree to it. They suggest discussing each chore with your partner. There may be chores you despise but your partner does not mind or even likes. Once you have everything written down you can discuss it in a planning session rather than pointing fingers and having an argument. It is a safe way to broach and present this very important topic.
Delegating at home and work. Who can you delegate to? At work this includes Colleagues, Assistants, Volunteers, and Interns. What bout at home? Do you ask your kids and spouse to help? I have worked with clients that have children of all ages. Many of them do not ask their children to do any chores. In the meantime, they are drowning in dirty laundry, dirty dishes, overflowing litter boxes, and inboxes.
Once, I had a client who worked full time. She was also studying to get her PHD at night. She had 1 older son and she was married. She also did all the cooking, laundry, pet care and cleaning. The laundry had taken over their master bedroom. The couple moved into their son’s bedroom and the son moved in with the Grandparents home. This situation did not prompt her to ask for HELP!
We taught our daughter, Jessica, and our son, Connor, to do their own laundry around the age of 11. Jessica, thrived in college. She did meet several struggling college kids that did not know how to do their laundry or to take care of themselves. Delegate! Not only for yourself, not only for your well-being but to raise young adults that will be self-sufficient and productive in life.
In addition to laundry our kids were also responsible for cleaning up after dinner at least once a week and they helped with basic housework. My husband, Karl, has always done some of the laundry, cleaning, cooking, organizing and grocery shopping. This makes for a much happier relationship. Dr.Phil had a show about housework and he stated that men doing housework is VERY SEXY! I agree!
Delegating work to others may not come naturally to you. I have experienced older clients with Caregivers and the client keeps doing all the work! Why? They are there to help you. This is usually a case of being stubborn or afraid to ask for what you need. I can understand a desire to be independent but if you are paying someone to help you…. let them help you. The Caregiver wants to feel a sense of purpose to.
If someone is always Delegating to you.You may need to say “no” or “Yes, if”. Here is a paragraph within an article in the Harvard Business Review titled, "To be a Great Leader, You Have to Learn How to Delegate Well.“
Practice saying “yes,” “no,” and “yes, if.” This is the art and science of being selective. Successful investors don’t divert their money into every opportunity that comes their way, so we should be equally discerning with our time. Start by carefully assessing every demand that comes your way, and align the asks with the highest-valued contributions that you’re most skilled at making. For those requests that draw on this talent, you say yes and carve out the time and attention to be intimately involved. But for those requests that don’t align, you say yes, if… and immediately identify other people to accomplish the goals through their direct involvement. You may still consult, motivate, and lead — but you’re essential as the catalyst, not as the muscle doing the heavy lifting. This discerning approach may mean delegating some tasks to others, negotiating a reduction in your direct contribution, or just saying no while making the business case for why your effort and attention will have a greater impact elsewhere.
I hope you can find a good balance in your life. This usually requires sharing home responsibilities with others. Whether they are people living in your home or hiring help. Need any help with Organizing, Downsizing or Financial Organizing? Give us a call!
Thanks for reading! I would love to hear what you think.
Adele Tusson-Gross Chief Executive Organizer